Well, my educational life has begun anew. I started my first grad school class today. Looks like this one is going to be challenging, at worst. I shy away from saying that it's gonna be an impossibly hard class, because it isn't. Shit, we don't even have midterms or tests. Just a lot of writing, and I'm really good at writing papers. Seemed like a really cool class. We'll see how Monday's class goes.
Last night, Scarlet Whore played Lil' Nikki's for the final Toxic Tuesday show there for a while. We rocked that place out like there was no tomorrow. Everyone had a good time. Here are some of the highlights:
--I got drunk, finally
--Jason 'headbanging' with his lack of hair
--Chuck jumping up and down in the pit
--Nate in the pit.
There were some low moments, but for the most part, everyone behaved themselves and everyone really seemed to enjoy it. I was happy to have my friends out there to support my guys and just to support the ailing local music scene.
I took pictures. Hopefully I will post them soon.
Now, on to another topic. I said something the other day that a couple people took much too literally. I said that I was the first one in our little group to have an online journal/blog thing. That is true. However, it doesn't mean that I want a cookie for it or anything. Just seems like that a lot of time, no one gives me much credit in the group. I'm a chick and frankly, sometimes I Feel like people don't give a shit about me half the time. I"ve been in this group for 4 years almost and you know, I still feel like an outsider about 40% of the time. Took a lot of balls for me to say that last part. Seems like a lot of people don't want to hear my ideas, take me seriously, or just once, do what I want to do. How many times have we gone to a GK concert or a Cowboy Mouth concert. But, it's like half the time, I have to pull teeth to get some people to even set foot in my home. Am I that disgusting that no one wants to be around me? I'm just tired of all the self-righteousness that exists. Just once, I'd like to be credited for doing something important. I'm not saying that anyone copied off me because of this blog thing. It's just, god dammit people, seems like when certain people in the group accomplish a feat or do something new and interesting and fun, people feel the need to laud them and congratulate them and there is much self-congratulations that goes on too, for that person has achieved or done something before anyone else. But when I do something, seems like everyone's like 'so what'. Yeah, I wasn't the person who invented the 'blog'. I shouldn't have said that at all, about being the first one in the group to have one, but I did have a blog long before it was trendy or played out (take your pick) to have a blog or a livejournal. I'd just like a little fucking courtesy in this group, about everyone in this group, for everyone in this group. This isn't about a blog though. This is about recognition. I'm tired of there being people in this group who feel or who are treated with more importance and praise than others. Everyone is entitled to praise and respect in their own right. I feel like people think of me as some ignorant, unimportant bitch who feels the need to fuck with people's worlds to make herself feel better. That's not the case. I have feelings too. Think about that next time you speak to me. And yes, I'm speaking up. Why keep it inside? Actually, it would do less damage there.
I'm gonna go read. I'm in grad school now, furthering myself as a person, both mentally and career-wise. Congratulations Hizzy. Good job. Thank you, Hizzy.
Comment if you want. I'm gonna get so much hell for expressing my feelings.
Yeah.
MUSIC : Demolition Hammer - .44 Caliber Brain Surgery
Link of the day - Virtual Bubble Wrap
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3 comments:
In case you didn't notice, I was somewhat defending you. Sorry. It'll never happen again. And congrats on going back to school.
Ok, first things first: congrats on your show, your continued success with your band (again), and your school career.
Now, second: I have given everyone in our circle props that they were due. Beaver, Scott, you...check the archives in my blog if you don't believe me/remember. I have patted you on the back numerous times. I supported you with your band, and congratulated you on your graduation from college, and on recent events in your life. So I hope to God that when you say "people don't give me my due" that you aren't talking about me. I give PLENTY of curtousy to EVERYONE in our group...to just say that I don't would be doing the same thing you're speaking out against, and that is not giving someone their due credit. Self-importance? Yeah, okay...I tooted my own horn when I got my job, and graduated; so what? You do it, too...you did it with your band and you've done it since. And that was your right (and mine in my case), because you did something great, and if you can't be happy for yourself, why bother doing anything? As for people treating certain accomplishments more attention than others, I can't control what other people do. If people completely disregarded anything I did in favor of say, Scott or Corey or Dave, I wouldn't really care because I don't want/need high recognition for my accomplishments, that's not why I shoot for things, ya know? I didn't go to college and bust my ass to get my degree just for other people to 'ooohh' and 'aaahhh' over it. I know this comment can come off angry or pissed, but I'm not, trust me, just explaining. Hizzy, you're my friend, and I've been there for you with advice and praise on your successes. Here's yet another free bit of advice from a friend to a friend: stop caring about whether people "give you credit" - that's not why you should want to succeed. You should want success for success' sake. And also, recognize when you get credit and you'll be happy.
As for people going to GK and Cowboy Mouth and not to other bands you like...I didn't force anyone to go to GK, and Erich didn't force anyone into CM. You have a unique taste for the "true" and "pure" genres of metal that, frankly, not many in our group share. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it just means you have your own style and taste, and you should be proud of that. Besides, look at it as they don't know what they're missing, so it's their loss.
Once again, congrats on the kick-ass show and your school, and I'll talk to you later. (Good lord, I wrote you a novel, didn't I?)
I forgot to include this in my original reply: just why is it so important for you to receive recognition, Andrea? I mean, just because no one is bowing before your greatness does not lessen or tarnish your victories and accomplisments. So why the jealousy and the desire to be noticed and praised? I'm just very curious. (Oh, and I'm sorry for anything I might have done or said to give you the impression that you are not important. And yes, that was meant sincerely.)
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