Statement

This is not from a song. It's early and my brain is not functioning at the level it should.

I'd like to reflect on the events of the past few days if I can. First, let me say that I am heartily sorry for offending or hurting anyone.

@Heather - I know what I did was wrong. It was never MY intention to embarass or humiliate you. I wasn't totally cool with the guys being there myself. As a matter of fact, I was disappointed. I was disappointed that those girls can't take a fucking 6-hour period out of their life without some sort of male interaction. Looking back on it now, it was a retarded idea and I shouldn't have participated. I had 2 hours of 'girl time' -- at the restaurant. And that wasn't enough. I don't even know why I went. I don't like to dance. Guess I just needed to get away from my problems for a while. I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn't understand why the guys needed to be there. But I went along with it. This is where I lost track of myself and who I am. I'm not a mean person. Never have been, it's not in my nature to be so rude. I dont' blame you for being angry at me. I don't blame you if you decide never to speak to me again or invite me places. If someone did this to me, I'd be hurt as well. I never fathomed that you'd be embarassed. And it never was my intention for you to be embarrased. I can't speak for the others, but I believe it was more of a way to knock Steve than anything else. I'm sorry and I do hope that sometime you will be able to forgive me.

@others - In my defense, this was not my idea. I'm not going to publicly ostracize the person whose idea it was, but a couple of you already know. I was against it up until probably last Wednesday or Thursday, when I knew that my resistance would be fruitless. I'm not the only one who knew. There were roughtly 10-12 people who knew about this (myself, the Beav, Erich, Toni, Amber, Joe, Yoda, Chuck, Posch, Kris, Scoob, Nate, Angel, Nix)(though in his defense, he knew about it only because I told him, knowing full well he wouldn't come out to the 'festivities'. As a matter of fact, I bitched and complained to him about how dumb it was that guys had to be involved, if I remember correctly, so don't be too mad at him for knowing. That was totalyl my fault).With the exception of myself, Beav, and a handful of other people, no one else seems to care that people are upset by this. Care isn't the right word -- they don't seem to understand what the big deal is about their actions. However, silence and inaction on this was something I shouldn't have had. Heather's right, this is all high school bullshit -- what we did. However, if others weren't engaged in some high school shit of their own, this never would have happened. I'm not blaming anyone for that. I'm just saying. I also better not be the only one to get the blame for this, as there were 14 other people who knew -- people that you guys trust for the most part. Ask them why they didn't tell. I don't know their intentions as to why they didn't. That's them, this is me. It hurts to lose friends, I've lost a couple myself. I hope I do not lose all you guys over this. I truly am sorry to the rest of you, that you had to sit back and watch this unfold. If you have any questions or wish to discuss this personally with me, you know how to reach me. I just want this to go away.

Thank you for listening to my ragged, disjointed defense/apology statement.
I return you to your regularly scheduled lives.

Final Thought -- sorry Steve, I had to.
Enjoy every moment you have with those around you. You never know when they'll be gone.

ANDREA