Smoke the day's last cigarette, rememberin' what she said

above lyric from Bob Seger (later Metallica) -- Turn the Page

Two updates in two days?! Could it be? I must be sick or something.

Actually, I think it's getting that way. I'm all sneezy. Oh well, I've been sick before, so it's not a big deal.

Tomorrow's gonna suck, but not worse than yesterday. I get hit with another 11-hour workday tomorrow. Yep, 8-7. Sorry folks, not gonna be able to join everyone at O'Leary's for some karaoke fun. Word on the street is that Nix is coming, so you guys will get to see him at least.

Yesterday was hard, and hectic, and very worrysome. I worked an 11-hour day. All the freaks that come to my work came to the office yesterday. Here's a quick rundown of a couple of the freaks.

**Names have been changed to protect the freaks**

Al -- Al is a black man in his late 30s. He's diabetic, partially blind, and walks with a cane. That's not why he's a freak. That's just a tragic part of his life. Al has decided that he doesn't like American women. Al's getting a mail order bride from the Philipines. Guess who he's recruited to write letters to her, since he's blind. Yep, me. So once she comes over here, I get to meet the woman I've been corresponding with. Don't worry, they're not letters of unrequited love. More friendship letters than anything. I'm Al's ghostwriter, only I'm a lot smarter than him, so when she meets him, he's gonna look like such a dumbass. Yay, big words. On top of all this, Al thinks he and I are buddies, but he loves to criticize me. In one day, he said he hated my hair cut, scoffed at me for drinking sugar soda, told me that he can cook Italian food better than me (you don't EVER say that to a Wop, unless you wanna suddenly get "disappeared". He also steals our lollipops, which are for the little kids of patients treating with us, not for 40 year old men with mental problems. He takes all the blue ones, like 10 at a time. Doc made me take him home one time, since he can't drive and his Call-a-Ride people didn't pick him up. I was never more anxious to get him out of my car. Lately, I've gone out of my way to be a smartass to him. I wanna do normal work, not talk to Al the freak.

Jim - Jim is in his 70s. He's retired from A-B. First, let's talk about Jim's family. Jim is married to Elizabeth, a woman who looks a hell of a lot older than 65. She walks with a cane and has a mouth like a trucker. She's also half deaf, so you have to scream at her in order to get her to hear you. She likes to tell me that I "favor my mother". She's met my mother and decided that we look alike, which we do. However, I don't need the woman pointing it out everytime she comes to the office. Jim has a son, who's in his 40s, named Jim, Jr. The best way I can describe him is Neanderthal. He wears ratty jean shorts, tight t-shirts (he's like 260 lbs) and has long hair and a long scraggly beard. He looks like Grizzly Adams. Or a sex offender. I'm not sure. Anyway, he's quiet and keeps to himself. Before I met Nix, Doc told me he'd set me up with Jim, Jr. For the rest of that day, I got back at Doc by not giving him any of his phone messages and playing computer games instead of doing work. Yay revenge! Anyway, back to Jim. He's a nice old man, but he is mentally fucked. He talks about the most random shit and jabbers on and on, only to flip to another subject in almost mid-sentence. Or, he'll just spout random shit. I was coming back from the bathroom and him and his wife were walking down the hall from the office. I say "Hi guys." His wife says "What?" and Jim says "We had omelettes for breakfast today. I like mine with cheese and green peppers". I said, "That's great, Jim. I like omelettes too. Anyway, I gotta go." I barricaded myself in my back office for the rest of the day.

Rick -- Rick is a felon. Rick lives in a halfway house. I had to take Rick to the bank one day so he could cash a check and pay money to the doctor. Rick didn't have his ID, only his Department of Corrections badge. Hooray for Take A Felon to the Bank day!

Anyway, those are 3 of the more colorful characters that come into my office. Believe me, I've got some stories to tell (like about a recent patient, who's in jail now for raping and suffocating a 70 year old woman 7 years ago, or about . And these people are coming in to have their backs worked on. They need to go to a fucking head doctor. Shit, all the crazies aren't locked up, it seems.

Well, I spent a long time talking about crazy folks. That's my job though, tending to the psychos.

11 hours tomorrow. I can handle it, cause I'm Super Andrea.

Last night was stressful. We had a bit of a scare with Jarrod, but it was our best show we've ever played other than that.

REMINDER : Trivia Night next Tuesday @ O'Learys. Jason has joined the squad and will be accompanying me next week. We wish for more people to come. Let me know if you would like to accompany Jedi Master Yoda and the Trivia Mistress to O'Learys for some asskicking. The lovely Miss Katie (college friend of the Jedi and myself) and guitar god Chuk may join us as well. Hmmm...technology, general useless info and music, entertainment, and history. We've got the total package. We need General Nate for WWII trivia and someone for sports and we've got all our bases covered. Anyone is welcome to attend. Lemme know. For a crash course in how NOT to play trivia at a bar, refer to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Super Trivia".

I have to get maintenance in here sometime in the next week to fix yet another leak. Somehow the air register in my living room is leaking water inside the wall. I have a waterspot on my living room wall and a drip drip into a puddle coming from my bedroom wall overhang. Fuck. I'm so tired of shit leaking in this apartment. Well, it's better than living in my car. At least my bed is comfortable (if you like sleeping on concrete, which I do).

Had lunch with Toni today. Caught up on stuff that's happened since the wedding and talked about the honeymoon. Found out some shit I really didn't care to know about. Okay, I did care to know about it, cause it was damned funny, but I will never tell anyone what I heard. I'm taking this one to the grave. Sorry.

A thought on Toni, if I may. We were pretty good friends in high school, it tapered off a bit in college, just cause I was at Mizzou and she was here. But she was dating Scuba and then Nick, so we were really never "not friends". There were just times we didn't talk as much as we do now. I thought of something a little while ago. She and I have become a whole lot tighter in the last year than we've ever been. This Amber fiasco has really brought us closer as friends. I don't care if anyone doesn't like her. All I know is that I had a lot of fun at lunch with her today. I don't do that with a lot of people. A little 1 on 1 time is nice once in a while. And she got me a cool shot glass from St. Martin, so she's like my favorite person right now. That's the way to my heart -- shot glasses. They're good times.

It's time for bed. I gotta get up in 4 1/2 hours for my 11 hour day and my daily dose of freakshow goodness. Oh, joy!

Pretty sounds -- "Cry Baby" by Janis Joplin
Link -- The Workday Simulator (this is one of my favorite timewasters. It makes my fun meter spin uncontrollably)

It's hot outside. Drink lots of water.
ANDREA