And if the cloud bursts,thunder in your ear.You shout and no one seems to hear.And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

You know, sometimes people have to get a reality check to see the big picture. Never in my life have I felt more stifled. Never in my life have I been forced to censor myself and my thoughts and words in order to please the masses. Never in my life have I felt more alone in a group of people. It's like I'm screaming and everyone is just sitting there, not caring about what I have to say.

Well, I'm tired. Tired of having to second guess myself. Tired of having to live my life in the way that others see fit. And I'm not just talking about blogworld. I'm talking about in general. I've had to bite my tongue on numerous occasions, in order to keep the peace. I've had to swallow a lot of what I wanted to say and no one should be subjected to that, ever.

What I wrote yesterday is now gone into the internet trashcan where all the bad things go. But was it really a bad thing? Well, yes, according to certain censors and critics. I don't see that I did anything wrong, but oft times, I guess I do and I'm just too stubborn to see it. Maybe I need a break.

I do need a break from Bugjuice. I need some time to evaulate things from afar. I am not leaving the group. I repeat, I am not leaving the group. I am not abandoning anyone. I'm certainly not being a bad friend (and the next person to accuse me of that is going to get me very angry). I will still maintain a presence on the forum and in the blogs. However, I will not be hanging out at small gatherings. The haunted house stuff (which people need to get back to me on. I need a headcount) and NIN are exceptions. Other than that, don't expect to see me around very much throughout the rest of the month. I need some time to be myself.

I love and respect each and every one of you. This trial separation is going to be hard. However, if it makes your lives better, than I am willing to step away for a bit, to give you guys the peace that you so desire. And it will be beneficial for me, for I will be able to really sit back and watch, as a silent observer. I will also be able to not be afraid to be myself, at least for a little while. Enjoy the silence while you can. I'll be back November 1. Hopefully this separation can change us all a little bit, for the better.

I leave you with one final thought. All of us really need to ponder this one. It comes from one of my favourite Rolling Stones songs.

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you may find, you get what you need."

I love you all and hope this separation proves positive.

HIZZY

Music - "Narayan" by the Prodigy