Loser

**There are two excellent songs named "Loser" out there. One is by the ever lovely Beck. The other one is by Three Doors Down. I find both songs awesome in their own ways. I shall elaborate more on this at a later time. I give both songs 3 horns out of 5, just because neither are hard enough for me to truly love them.**

I am a loser. Plain and simple. Webster's Dictionary defines a loser as simply "someone who loses". It doesn't say what they lose. In my case, I keep fucking losing shit. In the last week I've lost a hard drive, 8 bucks (both stolen), and now, I lost my cell phone. Oh, and tickets to the NCLS game 6, but we'll get to that one later.

My cell phone...ah yes, that glorious thing that is preventing me from calling all you guys. I don't have numbers memorized, they were all in my phone. Anyway, I somehow lost the fucker in between getting off the elevator, mailing letters in the mailslot at the lobby in my office, and my car. I think I set it down somewhere, but I'm not sure. I've had so much shit on my mind lately that it's no wonder that I lost it. Regardless, it's gone. It's never coming back. I should have a new one by next week. Cingular is a bunch of assraping motherfuckers who want to charge me upwards of 120 bucks to get a new phone. I hate you Cingular. I'm gonna go torch your headquarters.

Game 6 tickets...ah yes, that glorious thing that I have wanted to do ever since I was a little Hizzy. I have always wanted to go to a playoff game. The atmosphere is different than a regular season game. My boss handed me two EXCELLENT tickets to the baseball game today. We're talking great seats, right behind the field boxes. The game is tomorrow at 3:45. I took the tickets and then realized, "Fuck, I can't go. I fucking have class. Wait, I'll skip and go." Then I remembered, "Fuck. I have a project due tomorrow. I have to fucking present my findings. Fuck. I can't go." My boss made me give the tickets back. But, me being sneaky, told him an hour later that I called my teacher and she said that I could just email her my findings. I knew that my teacher would NEVER allow me to do that, especially for a playoff game. He gave me the tickets, which I turned over to my mother. She's going to go, with her brother. She deserves those tickets. She puts up with my dad and my sister all the time, she needs some fun. Besides, her brother is going and he's a cool dude, so there are no 2 people better suited for those tickets. I hope they win. Mom will be so happy.

I don't know what it is with me lately. Physically, I feel fine. I'm not sick. But mentally, I'm fucking gone. Gone in the sense that I'm so bombarded with fucking work, band, school, and all this fucking drama in this goddamn group that half the time, I don't even know what day it is. I go to work and sleep and play solitare because I'm so burned out on it. I've been there a year and haven't gotten a vacation. Doc says I get one in November, but we'll see about that. Do you know how much good a week off would do me? It would do wonders. I need to do laundry. Guess what, I have no fucking time to do laundry. I went to walgreens at 1:30 this morning because I was up and needed some shit. 1:30. My mind is in a trillion different places. No wonder I lost my fucking phone.

In other news, congrats to Amber and Jason. They both got amazing jobs. Amber is working for an art studio out in Chesterfield and Jason is doing some data work for the government. Basically, he's dealing with military records. Nice that the fate of the military is in Jason's hands. I feel ever so secure. :)

Guys, seriously. I'm tired of all this. Do you know that I'd fucking love to go one day without hearing someone say "Guess what Beaver said?" or "I'm so sick of Steve" or "Why doesn't anyone call me" or "Did you read my blog" or "John Kerry this and that" or "Bush sucks/rocks" or "I wish people would visit me" or "rehearsal dinner" or "who'd win in a fight" or "weak" or "uber" or "leader" or "Erich" or a whole zillion other things. For once, I'd like to hear someone say "Nothing is fucking happening." Do you know how happy that would make me?

Note to reader : This is truly not bitching anyone out. I haven't called anyone out, so it's not bitching. I'm mearly stating all the words that are running through my head at any given moments of the day.

I'm just tired of all the drama. If I wanted to live in a soap opera, I'd move to Salem and live with the rest of the Days of Our Lives people. Does everything have to be a fucking ordeal? No. Everyone just needs to do their part, live their own lives, don't tread on anyone else, and just be happy with who they are.

I love you all.

HIZZY

Music : Mozart - Symphony 41 "Jupiter" (yes, even the Hizzy likes classical sometimes)
Link : Sporkitsu - the art of Spork warfare