Cold

**Cold is by Static-X, off of the album Machine. It also appeared on the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. It's one of my favorite Static X songs. 4 horns up. So ends your daily music lesson from the Hizzy**

It's motherfuckin' cold outside. Goddamn winter. My least favorite season is upon us.

Things have been rather uneventful in the Hizzyworld these last few days. I have my wonderful mate Nix here with me. We've been having a good time, laughing and just being together. I love times like that.

I felt I owed you guys an update, hence this.

Couple things.
1. The choices part of the forum board is becoming increasingly more disgusting. I am refusing to vote until some better choices are put up, some that don't require me to think "I wouldn't do either because they're damn disgusting" or some actual realistic ones. Until then, I abstain.

2. Took Nix to my parents' house last night for some turkey. We both had a good time. I'm glad he came with me and got to meet my parents. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

3. Something is going on and no one is telling me what it is. This has nothing to do with anyone who blogs regularly or anything. Another friend of mine. I wish people would realize that I'm not a blabbermouth anymore and come to me with their problems. I think I know what's going on, but I'm not too sure. It's got something to do with Amber and John, that's all I know. I'm worried about both of them, yet no one will tell me what's going on. Aaargh, so frustrating.

4. Nothing else really is going on. I have my health, money, and my Nix. Things are good.

Music : Nix is sleeping, so there is no music being played.
Link : I don't know. It's friday, do the usual thing.

HIZZY

Never Named

**Never Named is a really excellent song by Soundgarden. No, not Audioslave. Soundgarden, who is tons cooler than Audioslave. Anyway, four horns up for this song**

I wasn't feeling particularly creative in the title department tonight, so I copped out. Hey, we're all entitled to an off night on the blogs.

I'm really worried about Sparkamus. He seems to have gotten his heart broken yet again. What is it with women treading all over him? I can't believe how bad some chicks treat him. Jesus christ, he's a human being. If you want to see why I'm worried about him, head over to gimbie.net -- you know shit's bad when there's a depressing poem and nothing else. Someone please go check on him. I'd call him, if my phone wasn't broken. It's shit like this that just makes me fucking scowl. Sparkamus is a great dude, I wish girls would fucking appreciate him. Well, person who was mean to him, you had a good thing going. A really good thing. Oh well, you blew it.

Had a pretty good night tonight. Went over to Pop's with Sean to pick up flyers. We got good billing on them. Then we headed to Crestwood and handed out flyers. One of the guys from the other band said to expect 300-400 people at this show. I can't wait. I'm gonna throw up before the show, I know I am. Nerves.

Work was fine. Nothing much up there.

My "check engine" light came on today, so that's the thing that's bothering me right now. Dad's gonna look at it for me tomorrow. Hopefully he can figure out what's wrong. Certainly don't want it dying on me on the fucking highway at 75 mph.

I miss Nix. Steve, this is your cue to make fun of me. However, I found something for him at Crestwood tonight. Thank god it was right out there where I could see it, would have missed it. Might go to the S. County store and pick it up before he gets into town.

Hizzy says : I ain't tellin'.

I made up a game tonight. It's really weird and I'm not sure anyone will participate. I was inspired by Ravenous. Scott, I may need a section on the board for it, as it's gonna work sorta like Juice Wars, only it won't last a trillion years. Hopefully I'll have the concept and the specs posted soon. Steve liked it. I really want it to work, so I'll try to discuss it with ya sometime.

Seems like all the forums are really taking off. I'm thinking of launching my own forum. KIDDING! That would be the most fucked forum in the world, full of bitching and metal stuff.

I think that's it. I'm gonna call Nix here in a little while and then go to bed. I have to work tomorrow. Fuck.

Later,
HIZZ

Pretty Sounds : Stormtroopers of Death : Kill Yourself
Linkage : somethingawful.com = Photoshop Phriday (yay! The obligatory Friday cop out link)

Better

I apologize for the last post. I was very pissed off, and something unrelated to the group started it. I sincerely apologize.

I'm better. I slept well (on the couch, with 2 candles burning--lucky I didn't burn this place down). Got to talk to Nix -- highlight of my night.

@Nix - I love you, baby. Have a good demo today.

I think that's all. Just wanted to post a retraction.

HIZZY

Angermeans

**Angermeans is an album by a hardcore band called Strife. Now, when I say 'hardcore', I mean it as the genre of metal that generally fuses punk, emo, and metal together, not in the 'I'm Hardcore' sense. It's a really great album. 4 out of 5.**

Rain usually makes me happy. So it's weird that I am so pissed off right now.

I'm so angry that I can't even see straight. I'm so angry that I actually threw a glass at the refrigerator and it broke. Bye bye glass.

You know, if it isn't my mother bitching at me about money or my job or the band or whatever, it's that someone has the fucking audacity to make a board so that he can feel better about himself by putting others down. All this under the clever guise of 'satire'.

I think the great writer Jonathan Swift said it best when he said that "satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own"

Interesting quote, Jonathan. I wish that the creator of the satire board would look into the glass and realize that all the nasty, vicious things he says about people really make him look like an asshole more than some funny, witty, sarcastic guy.

My question is this : Can someone like something, love someone, like doing something without shit being pitched their way about it? Jesus christ dude. That's really heartless, motherfucker. I guess your high school bullshit works with everyone else in this group, your sophomoric humor, but frankly, I dont' care for it one bit. Shit, next thing you know, you'll be talking bad about the Beaver's heart problems, my dead brother, Nate's weight problem, etc. Is nothing sacred in this game? Can we fucking like something and not get attacked for it? Can we have one thing that just tears us down and makes us cry without getting shit flipped at us about it? Yeah, I said it. I have a brother, he's dead. His name is Jason Matthew. He was born in 1978. He was 2 months premature, his lungs weren't developed enough. He died 2 days after he was born. It bothers me to talk about it. Probably won't bother you to put it on your little 'satire' board though.Shit, you'd probably connect it to a genre of metal or use it as the reason I'm a "dude".

That's another thing. So what if I'm not a girly girl. Girly girls are so fucking fake. I don't care about makeup or frilly dresses. What you see is what you fucking get. I think I'm more straight up and real than some of the girly girls in this group. Why do you find it funny that I like to hang with the boys? I don't think it's funny. I've always been 'the tomboy'. Shit, my own mother has questioned my sexuality in the past, because I've always had a problem getting boyfriends and I dress like a dude. Pretty sad when your own mother thinks you're a fucking dyke. That's why it bothers me so much. Why can't I just be who I am? I think I'm a beautiful, smart, well-read, cultured individual. So what if I don't wear dresses or tight little skirts. At least I'm real. And that's all that fucking matters.

Metal. You know, I don't sit there and attack what you like. I don't attack foam swords or anything like that. I've never attacked Gravity Kills, though frankly, I've always, deep down, thought that they weren't really that good to begin with. It's been done, many times, by bands with tons more talent than GK. You act like all I listen to is metal. For your information, right now I am listening to one of the masters of funk music, George Clinton. Earlier, I was listening to Marley, and today in the car, I was listening to a wonderful piece of music from Mr. Dean Martin. While metal is my first love musically, it's not my whole world. Don't knock some of these bands if you don't know fuck about them. Take your head out of Jeff Scheel's ass and get a clue.

To everyone else, I apologize. Sincerely. That you had to read all this stuff, it's just what I'm feeling right now. I think the satire board is a horrid idea. I think it has the potential to tear people apart, as quickly as we've all been trying to rectify situations within this group. I for one, will be an infrequent contributor to the board because I'm against everything it stands for. Quill told me once that nothing bothers him. So frankly, he's using that board as more of a vehicle for him to just fuck with others, and we can't get him back for the nasty shit he says about all of us, because nothing bothers him. Actually, one thing will piss him off. However, I am much too mature to reveal what that is. Unlike him, I have tact and a heart. I know what sensitive subjects to avoid and what to dog people on.

I've said my piece. If you want to comment, fine. If not, fine.

Hizzy.

Music -- Talking Heads : And She Was (guess this would be New Wave 80s metal, in some eyes)

What a Day

*What a Day is by Nonpoint. I like it because they really break it down towards the middle. Go nonpoint. 4 out of 5*

It's 9:19am and this day is already sucking ass. If this is any indication of how the rest of the day is gonna go, I'm not leaving the house.

I was awakened at around 5:45 (I'm estimating here, because that's what time it said on my cellphone) to everything around me beeping, my computer, yoda's computer, and my alarm clock. Power either surged or went out. It pissed me off because I had to hobble around the room (I fucked up my ankle) in the dark and turn the fucker off. Reset the time, and went back to bed. I set it all wrong and just woke up about 20 minutes ago. I was supposed to be at work an hour ago.

Fuck.

Hizzy.

Link -- new fun stuff posted on Photoshop Phriday, go check it out
Music -- Weezer - Keep Fishin'

Bit o' humor

Go to www.blogthings.com. It's the Quizilla for us cool kids.

I found these there.
(there are *s next to the ones that apply to me)

You Know You're From Missouri When...
Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip." *

"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.

Down south to you means Arkansas.

The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing.

You know what "Party Cove" is. (If you know where, you are a boating party animal) *

You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end.

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football. *

You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St. Louis Only)

You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU. *

You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis. *

You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm. *

You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri. *

You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is. *

You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.

You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut.

You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

The local gas station sells live bait.

Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

All your radio preset buttons are country.

You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri. *

AND ONE MORE

You Know You're From St. Louis When...
You love toasted ravioli with Budweiser beer. *

"Vacation" is a choice between Silver Dollar City and Lake of the Ozarks.

You can find Pestalozzi Street by aroma alone. *

You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40. *

You can debate for 30 minutes whether Missouri Baking or Marge Amighetti makes the best Italian bread.

You know what "Party Cove" is, and where the "lake" is. *

You still can't believe the Arena is gone. *

Your first question to a new person is, "Where did you go to High School?" *

Your non-St. Louisan friends always ask if you're aware there is no "r" in "wash."

You know at least one person who's gotten hurt at Johnson Shut-ins. *

You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football. *

You think the four major food groups are Beef, Pork, Budweiser and Imo's. *

You know there are really only three salad dressings: Imo's, Zia's and Rich and Charlie's.

You'll pay for your kid to go to college unless they want to go to KU. *

You would rather have a root canal without anesthetic than drive on Manchester on a Saturday afternoon. *

It just doesn't seem like a wedding without mostaciolli. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT 'MUSKACHOLLI'. The balance of the menu is ham, boiled roast beef, string beans with ham and of course pitchers of Busch Bavarian (class weddings have Bud) *

You know, within a three-mile radius, where another St. Louisan grew up as soon as they open their mouth. *

You know what a Pork Steak is...and what kind of sauce to put on it! *

Everyone in your family has floated the Meramec River at least once. *

A hoosier is someone that lives just south of Chouteau, not a person from Indiana. *

You have made fun of Mike Shanahan and tried to imitate him ordering another cold, frosty Busch Bavarian Beer.

You have listened to Mike's broadcast on KMOX, while watching the game on TV and wonder what game he is watching. *

A tear forms in your eye as someone mentions their favorite Jack Buck story. *

You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." *

Your favorite summer treat is handed to you upside-down

You bleed Blue between September and May *

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from St. Louis.*

Pour Some Sugar (or rain) on Me

**Ah, 80s hair metal. It's a lost time, another era. An era where the guys wore more makeup than the girls, Aqua-Net's stock went up a billion points, and everyone danced w/ Mr. Brownstone. I give this particular song 3 big horns up, just because it's nostalgic of a time of the past**

It's pouring down rain outside. It's times like this when I wish Nix were here. Not that I'm scared or anything. I fucking love rain, it's my favorite kind of weather. I just wnat someone here to share that happy rain experience with me.

I should be in bed, I really should. I gotta get up in 4 hours and go to work. Work has actually been okay lately, I've been getting a lot of stuff done. Hopefully I can get that week off for Christmas that I wanted. We'll have to see how much I can get done between now and then.

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

This will also be posted on the forum.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2004
TIME : 8pm - ?
PLACE : HIZZY'S HOUSE OF NEW YEARS CHEER (aka the most metal apartment in Oakville)
MORE DETAILS FORTHCOMING

Yes, that's right. I have taken it upon myself to have a New Years Party. I hope you all will come. While my place isn't large, it's roughly the same size as Joe's or Steve's, so I figure I should just throw a party. If you have any ideas about fun stuff we can do to kill time, let me know. You will get your official invitations in a couple weeks.

I gotta register for school sometime in the near future. I think I'm gonna take a class with Dr. Christensen, she's really a great professor. I have her for my Foundations of Reading Education class and she's a gem. She's teaching Reading in the Content Area -- a requirement for me -- next semester, so I think I'm gonna go for it.

Other than that, nothing new here. Yoda came over and got me re-hooked up with the 120 gig. My fingers are crossed to see if it works.

I also got to talk to my wonderful boyfriend Nix. The day that he returns is growing nearer by the second. He seems to be having a pretty good time in Oregon though. I just want to snuggle with him and kiss him. He rocks my fucking world hard.

Looks like the Whore may have 3 concerts in December, one in just a few weeks as a matter of fact. Word on the street is that we may be opening up for Conquest, one of St. Lou's premier metal bands. This is going to be one killer show. Ununbiun will be there too (it's pronounced Un Onion Bun, just say that really fast).

The father of modern terrorism is dead at 75. It's about fucking time Arafat bit the dust, fucking warmonger. I'm not sad. It's because of him that there's all those horrific deaths over in Israel and Palestine for the last 25 or so years.

That's all I have. I'm gonna smoke one more cancer stick and go to bed. I'm restless.

Nite,
HIZZ

MUSIC -- Superjoint Ritual : It Takes Guts

Awake

**Awake is a song by Godsmack. THey used to be really awesome, but have fallen by the wayside the last couple years. I didn't like their last two albums, but they still rule. 4 out of 5 horns for these boston badasses**

I'm awake.

I don't feel tired or restless or anything. I actually feel pretty energized. I think it's because I got the bulk of my project done for tomorrow. I just need to type up a couple short reflection papers and I'm good to go for my presentation tomorrow. Should I dress up? By dress up, I mean wear my good black skirt? I need to go buy markers. My presentation involves the people in the class drawing. I own 2 markers -- black Sharpies. Oh and highlighters. Not exactly the makings of a pretty picture there.

I might use the Boo Bucket to hold the markers, so people can just take from the Boo Bucket as they see fit. If they TAKE the Boo Bucket, I will kill them and shove each and every marker up their ass.

Everything went really well today, save for a little war that's happening right now on the forum. Bravo to Nix and Spawn for putting a stop to some of the mass posting, or at least pointing out how flawed of an activity it is.

For brevity purposes, you can read my review of the Fear Factory concert in the Music section of the forum.

I still miss Nix. However, the days until he gets back here are decreasing. YAY! Also, I have a suprise for him. It's not an object that I'm suprising him with, more of an idea or something. It's hard to say without giving the suprise away. Oh, and Heineken. Any guy who just got back from being on the road deserves some Heineken. I love you and miss you, Nix.

Dave came over and got his VCR back from me today. Thanks Neo for allowing for the use of your VCR.

So basically, I got a lot done today. I'm cranking out patient charts left and right. Guess I'm starting to buckle down more at work. I can't sit there and play Tetris all the time on the computer. I'm sorta glad I don't have internet access at work. I'd never get anything done.

End.

Hizzy

Music -- "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley & the Wailers
Link -- My Fear Factory show review

Family Tradition

**Family Tradition is a song by Hank Williams, Jr. Anyone who used to go to karaoke @ Zeke's knows this song. For a country song, it's quite well done. It's not that 'dog dies, wife leaves, truck breaks down country crap'. This is old style country. Hank's son, Hank Williams III is in a deathmetal band called Assjack, so he gets points for that. I give the song 3 horns out of 5.***

Just got back from my parents' house. We had a little going away, early Thanksgiving celebration. My grandparents are going to Tex-ass until March. It was a good day, for the most part. Got a bit peeved at Mom and we almost went toe to toe a couple times, but I remembered that I needed to chill out on people, so I backed down.

Talked to Nix last night. It felt sooo good to hear his voice, to hear that everything was going well in Oregon. I miss him, still. I think I will miss him until he comes back. Hell, I missed him when I was at work and he was here. I miss him when he's in the other room. Psycho? Maybe, but it feels good.

@Nix -- I miss you and I love you. I went ahead and got your DVD player out of your truck, I have no clue what the weather is gonna be like tonight, and I'd rather have it in here and not run the risk of it dipping down into the freezing temperatures overnight one of these nights. I hope you are having a good trip and I hope to talk to you tonight. I love you baby.

I'm having fun listening to all this great music on my 160 gig HD. A lot of it was downloaded when I was in college. Maybe I'll watch one of my 98 movies later (my original estimate of 50 was a bit low). I started playing some of the sex games. A lot of them are really dumb, but you never know who might like them.

If anyone is interested in some good real comedic stuff, I strongly suggest downloading some of Henry Rollin's (ex-Black Flag, Rollins Band) spoken word stuff. He is funny without intentionally meaning to be funny. I saw him in Columbia a couple years ago and he was a really cool guy. It's funny realism from Henry. I encourage a download or 2. I've been enjoying it.

Do I have anything else to say? Can't think of anything, so no.

HIZZ

Current music - "Plateau" - The Meat Puppets
Link : None. Go look @ the forum. There's good stuff on there.

Saturday Night's Alright

**Saturday Night's Alright sucks. It sucks worse than most songs have sucked before. I hate Elton John, which is a large part of why it sucks. I just needed a song with Saturday in the title**

Saturday night is gonna be just fine, friends. Yoda is coming over to give me a glorious new 120 gigabyte hard drive, chock full of movies, mp3s, ebooks, games, porn, etc. You name it, it's on there. I passed on the roms though. There's enough of those floating around the group. You know, I realized something. Hard drives are like dicks. Once you have one, you're constantly wanting a bigger one. I don't have one, so I wouldn't know for certain. Fact of the matter is, I am going to have a very large hard drive for all my fun computer stuff.

I still miss Nix. Like crazy. Can't seem to get him off my mind, and I really don't want to. I'm good at multitasking, so I can think of 20 things at once. Bottom line, I miss Nix. And I love him. I did something dumb last night and said, "Where the fuck is my mind at?" I almost slammed into someone's back end at a light. Anyway, I asked that, and Yoda goes, "Wherever Nix went"That's right, my dear Jedi friend. My mind is in Oregon. And my heart. Nix, I love you and miss you. I hope to hear from you soon.

My car is all clean. I went and had it washed today. Note I said HAD it washed. I was much too lazy and too tired from work to actually wash my car. It's all shiny. It'll just get bird shit on it again soon, if it hasn't already.

I think that's it for now. Oh, and my apartment is semi-clean too. Cleaner than it was. I feel better now. I was so shocked at how messy I can be.

Yep, that's all. Talk to you all later.
HIZZ

Music -- System of a Down "I-E-A-I-A-I-O"
Link -- kissthisguy.com -- a HUGE collection of misheard lyrics. A very funny site.

To Nix

@Nix - I miss you and I love you. It was so hard letting go of you today at the airport. I wanted to just break down in tears, but I knew that would further make you not want to go. I waited until I left the vicinity to cry. I miss you so much, but I'm gonna be strong, because I know that you're gonna be back soon. Have a good trip, baby. I'll see you in a week and a half. I love you so much and I know I'll talk to you soon. Tonight is gonna be so hard, but I take solace in the fact that I know you love me and I know that I will see you in less than 2 weeks. I"ll take good care of your DVDs and your wolves for you. Call me, email me, IM me, do something. I can't go a week and a half without at least knowing you're just an internet connection or a phone call away. I love you Nix.

@Steve -- If you even fucking make fun of me for the above post or for missing Nix like I do, I swear to god you'll pay.

@everyone else -- not meant for you.

Whatever words I say, I will always love you.
Hizzy

Music : none
LInk : Everyone should go to photoshopphriday on Somethingawful.com

Love Song

**Everyone knows that Love Song was originally written by the Cure. If you don't, then you are a fag. It is my favorite Cure song and my all-time favorite song to come out of the 1980s. It makes me sad when a sucky band like 311 covers it. Regardless, this song gets 4 out of 5 horns.**

I know, I know. Long time no post. Hey, I've been busy.

For the first time in a long time, I'm happy. I've been this way for a week. Never knew that one person could send me into such a fucking frenzy, make me totally crazy. Nix did, and he's the reason I haven't been coming out to blog. You think I'd blog when I have someone I'm absolutely nuts for staying at my house? Nope, me neither. I just can't get enough of him, of who he is, of how he makes me feel. There's just so much about him I long to know and many things about him that I already do know and love.

He cried in front of me the other day and again last night. I think it's beautiful that a guy is able to do that. Usually those feelings never come out. Nix makes me feel amazing. He is someone I'm able to talk to, he's spontaneous and entertaining, he holds doors for me and gets me things and doesn't allow me to get up. No one has ever done that for me. It's maddening, and i Love it.

He drives me absolutely insane with his OWN insanity. I like the idea that you never know what to expect with Nix, there's a suprise around every corner. I haven't laughed, cried, or poured my heart and soul out to a person this much in such a long time. He makes me feel so comfortable. So safe. This feels so right.

He has to go home today and I don't want him to. It's not because I like this little domestic co-hab we have set up. WHile that's part of it, it's more that I know that he's gonna be gone for a week and a half and I don't think I've mentally prepared myself for it yet. That's why god invented cell phones and phone cards though. I think I'll manage. I hope.

Bottom line is this...I am absolutely enamoured with Nix. I don't want to jump the gun on anything. I like where we are at right now. I really want to be with Nix for a long time and I think it could happen. Nix is the greatest thing that has come into my life for almost as long as I can remember. And I love him.

In other news.

--Thank you to everyone who came out to the scarlet whore show. The turnout was super impressive and everyone seemed to have a great time. Thanks especially to Nix and Scott for filming.

--Great party, Joe.

--Read the Meatloaf script -- HILARIOUS

--SAW, good movie. See it.

I think that's it. I don't feel like typing anymore.

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again.
HIZZY

Song : "Simple Man" by Skynyrd
No link today.