Even the genius asks questions

above lyric from 'Me Against the World' by 2Pac

Okay, so here's what I'm gonna do. People have been on my ass like flies on shit about updating this blog, so I will. However, here's how we roll:

I am going to do a mass posting of all my MySpace blog entries that have been written since the last time I blogged on here. If you feel like responding, let me know what you're responding to. The entries are in reverse chronological order.

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Friday, October 27, 2006
5:12 PM - Black No. 1

I'm sitting here with black hair, black eyes, and not an ounce of color on me. I love halloween. I'm going as a witch.The dye washes out, don't freak out, y'all.Spooky spooky! ANDREA

Thursday, October 26, 2006
6:06 PM - Crack is wack!
and so are Xanax-addled bitches that take over for the normal lady at work.I love it when someone is so fucked up on pills that their speech is all slurry. Wonder what the patients thought. Oh well, she sat there like a fucking zombie most of the day (once she got to work, she was about 3 hours late) and went outside a lot, to 'walk around' (which I took to mean smoke more crack and maybe blow some dude in an alley).Went to Dollar Tree after work for ibuprofen. I walked out with 6 bucks worth of goodness, but no ibuprofen. In my Dollar Tree stupor, I forgot the one thing I went in there for. Dollar Tree is my crack.Speaking of crack, the trucking company that employs my best friend Jason is on it. Jacksonville, FLA by Saturday at noon? I think not. Jason was supposed to be with us this weekend. And besides, that's a 20 hour drive. Factor in the 10 hour sleep time each day and the fact that he has NO TRAILER yet. Yeah, hit the pipe a little more, bitches.Happy birthday to Nix. In the words of Nathan Explosion, "A long time ago, something grew inside your mother. That thing was YOU!"My neighbors are weird. I've said this before, just need to reiterate. I keep hoping I'll see a mass of police cars and men in white coats when I come home from work one day, but alas, nothing yet.

Here are a couple links for your amusement:
Little Boy Gets Stuck in Claw Machine (did anyone ever think to use the claw to get him out?)Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It (I need to get me one of those.)
The Things People Argue About While Playing Monopoly (I argue about playing Monopoly.)
How to Get a Boyfriend (as Explained by an 11-year-old girl) (I need to take her advice. This kid knows what she's talking about. How can I get a hold of her. She shall be my relationship sensei.)That's all.Put down the crack pipe, everyone.
-A

Currently listening : Pork Soda By Primus Release date: By 20 April, 1993

Friday, October 13, 2006
5:33 PM - Bad Boys
Getting pulled over is NOT COOL! Take my word on this one.
Andrea

Saturday, October 07, 2006
3:56 AM - Get out your brooms
It's sweep time, baby!Go Cards!

3:26 AM - Jackass 2
ROCKED MY FUCKING WORLD!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006
1:41 AM - Halloween!
First, I got my substitute teaching job. Details of work arrangements to follow soon.Secondly, I love Halloween. Maybe it's the candy, maybe it's the spookiness of the whole thing. It's definately not the costumes. I am totally lame when it comes to picking costumes. So Posch and I took to the internet and found some really creative and easy ones. I will list them with sort of an explaination and you tell me which ones you think I should do. The one with the most votes will be considered highly. Here we go.
Little Dead Riding Hood -- pretty self explanatory
Goth Brooks -- dress up all gothy-like and then wear a cowboy hat
Wicked Witch of the West Side -- dress totally gangsta with a witch hat
Mona Lisa -- plain black clothes, black wig, no emotion on face, carry a picture frame
Zombie Hippie - dress all hippie and totally dead. Hold a sign that says 'make love not war' or 'give peace a chance'
The little girl from the Ring -- self explanatory, watch the movie
Always A Bridesmaid -- bridesmaid dress, messed up hair, broken bouquet of flowers, bride veil
and my personal favorite...Alice in Chains -- dress up like alice in wonderland. Wear chains around your costume. Lemme know which one you think I should wear!!!Back to writing my paper. I love you all, you sexy motherfuckers.
ANDREA

Monday, September 25, 2006
1:56 AM - Nerves
Current mood: nervous
If there's one thing I've never had a problem with, it's talking. I'm quite the chatterbox, as many of you are aware.However, if there's one thing I do have a problem with, it's interviews. I have a job interview position for one of a few sub positions in the Mehlville R-IX School District (aka the district I live in). I basically have to tell the HR people why I would be a good candidate to take over a classroom while a teacher is on leave for something (be it a sick child, a funeral, or maternity leave).I never knew one's stomach can be in both a knot and doing flip flops like the Rush Street Flyer at Six Flags. But mine is. This job is key for experience for me to get an actual teaching job in a couple years and if I don't get it, I will be absolutely crushed. I don't get crushed about a lot of things. I don't remember the last time I was completely crushed. I have already thrown up from nerves once today, and the way I'm feeling right now, there's a distinct possibility it could happen again before the night is out. I have paced, cried, gotten sick, stressed, everything. Let's face it, boys and girls. I'm nervous and my future is so uncertain right now that it scares me to death.To top it off, I have a project due at 6pm tomorow evening, complete with an oral presentation. I'm nervous about that, but not much, as I am about 90 percent prepared for that one. Oh, and the one for the other class too. Very important that I do well. Exceptionally well. In everything.My head hurts and my stomach feels like it's riding the Ninja.
-A

5:40 PM - Sickening
Current mood: pissed off
So yeah, I'm a news junkie. I've been glued to the TV for days following the case of Baby Abby from Lonedell. After she was found safe and sound, a woman in East STL was found dead with her FETUS CUT OUT! Now, I may be all grim and necro sometimes, but her fucking best friend did it, passed the dead baby off as her own at the funeral, later told the truth, the baby was exhumed.Meanwhile, the murdered woman's 3 kids were missing (7, 2, and 1). They found them last night in the WASHING MACHINE and DRYER of their apartment. They were drowned elsewhere and put in there to decompose. I have almost thrown up at the thought of all this no less than 3 times today. I can say one thing for this woman that did this -- she doesn't half ass anything. I really feel for the family in this. They've lost not only a young woman who was a mot her, but also 4 children (the 3 kids and the fetus).What is it with women and kids? Jeez, we had that psycho up in Stillwell that killed that young woman and stole her baby, we have the psycho lady from Lonedell, we have this bitch from East St. Louis who is potentially responsible for the deaths of 5 people!!!! And we've got that psycho chick from Texas who drowned all her damn kids. If you can't take care of kids, dont' have them. If you're crazy, do something about it, and stop taking other people's kids. They're not yours. And if you want to get pregnant, do it the right way, don't take someone's kid. 18 years of taking care of a kid of your own is far better than spending the next 20 years to life in jail.I hope these bitches fry.

Thx to the folllowing people for various things :
Dustin -- thx for the music suggestions. went on a download frenzy today and I like most of the stuff.
Joe B. -- thx for letting me have the thing at my house tonight. Figured I'd give you a night off. Thx in advance for fixing my laptop.
Everyone else -- thx for the wishes of good fortune and good luck for my job interview tomorrow. I am quite nervous, and that has further caused my propensity to almost throw up (I also have a 40 minute presentation for class tomorrow). I appreciate it.Some people shouldn't breed,
A
Currently listening : Takk... By Sigur Ros Release date: By 13 September, 2005

Friday, September 22, 2006
1:27 AM - Better
Current mood: productive
I'm feeling better today. I don't know why I was so depressed the other night. Just happens sometimes I guess. I felt amazingly refreshed the next day. Eventual sleep and a total clearing of the mind will do that to a person. I have a lot of stuff to do this next week, but I look at it fearlessly, knowing that I have yet to disappoint myself this year.Put your hand on the ground. Feel that cold sensation? No, it's not because it's 40 outside. It's because hell has frozen and I have cleaned this place -- at least you can walk in here now without tripping over shoes and cds. Smells great in here too. I'm a big smell person. It smells like air freshener, my freesia candle and that wonderful incense known as Nag Champa. I got my new tv, depsite the clusterfuck that lead up to it. I have decided that clusterfuck is now my favorite word, replacing inocculate. I finally got to begin watching all the DVDs I got for my birthday. I also rewatched Quills, Big Lebowski, and Napoleon Dynamite, because I missed them so. I stayed up sooo late last night watching movies. I'm kinda sad about leaving my 5th graders next week. They were really a great bunch of their kids. Their teacher, my elementary mentor, is a terrific lady and a remarkable teacher. It's off to Middle School. I hope all the kids like me (if I had a quarter for all the times....). I will be so glad when this semester is over. It's definately the hardest one thus far. So much stuff to do, so much time to devote. It's okay, I've done it before.My neighbors are so weird. I wish weirdness was in our lease. Then they wouldn't live here and I wouldn't have to put up with incessant fighting and their damn kid screaming at them everytime she doesn't get her way. The walls are paper thin. Oh shit, then god knows what they've heard over here. I'm giving Joe a break on Sunday and having people over here for the typical Sunday night festivities. I think that's all.

-A

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
1:54 AM - Mommy
Current mood: depressed
So I probably shouldn't be writing this, because I'm dead tired. I haven't been sleeping well AT ALL. I'm buying a TV tomorrow because I'm tired of being a hoosier and watching my 13", which, in true hoosier fashion, is perched on top of my entertainment center. The non-working 24" is in it's spot in the entertainment center. Call me white trash, go ahead. I dare ya!Anyway, my mom is coming over to help me move my entertainment center. My TV is too tall to move out of the front, so I gotta move it with the heavy ass TV still on it and I can't do it by myself. My apartment is a DISASTER. I am getting up at 6 am to clean, so my mom doesn't flip her fucking lid. I'd flip my lid if I were her, there's really no excuse for the mess. I just really have zero time and I have pretty much stopped caring about a lot of stuff. I think I'm depressed.
-A

Wednesday, September 13, 2006
9:59 PM - Kitty kat outside my door
Current mood: uncomfortable
First, a poem.

Kitty cat outside my door.
I don't want you to be there anymore.
My neighbors are weird and leave you food
You're a wild animal and that's not good.
Kitty cat out in the hall
I slipped on your food by the mailboxes today and it almost made me fall
Go away kitty cat
And take my neighbors with you

Okay, so the last part didn't rhyme. Fuck off, this was just a small poem, nothing too intellectual there. I have a toothache. I went and bought some Orajel tonight, applied it, and it became Droolfest 2006 in my apartment. It was not attractive. Orajel makes your gums numb and makes you drool. It did not make my tooth feel better.Something needs to be done, preferably something violent, to the assholes who drive on 40. In the past two weeks, both wednesdays, I've been forced to exit the highway due to some form of accident/rubbernecking, a combination of both. Goddamn, people. Learn how to fucking drive. 40 is bad enough as it is. And how can it be THAT crowed at 8:30 on a fucking Wednesday. Especially when the ballgame ended at like 4. There should be traffic reports 24 hours/day, on the hour. Not just during the day. Bastards.That's all. I'm a little bit not happy right now. I work until 7 tomorrow and then it's coffee house. Finally, something to take my mind off all bullshit.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006
1:10 AM - Oh! Oh! Pick me!
Current mood: hopeful
I have a job interview on Monday to be a sub for the Mehlville School District. Finally, something relevant. Wish me luck!
-A

Sunday, September 10, 2006
3:49 AM - Fuck.
Current mood: pissed off
Just went outside to talk to a friend that had stopped by for a bit. We were standing by my car and I felt sticky shit on my car. I looked and guess what?MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR GOT FUCKING EGGED! Guess I didn't notice it when I left Amber's. I am SO pissed. I really really hate people.
-A

3:13 AM - Cold.
Current mood: cold
It is positively freezing in here. Thank god for blankets.So I just took the 'Dead Celebrity Soulmate' test. Turns out that I'm super compatible with one Edgar Allan Poe. Madness is sexy. You can find the thing at http://www.biography.com/home_page/dead_celebrity_soulmate.jsp
I find it interesting that it's at A&E's Biography. Seems a bit too playful for A&E. Oh well.Amber had a party tonight. It was kinda weird going over there, as I haven't been there in well over a year, due to a massive falling out. Needless to say, I had a relatively good time, except for my freak-out (I haven't had one lately, so I was entitled). A crack was made about my sister that didn't need to be made. I felt the need to defend her and ended up outside shaking in anger and disgust and just really feeling the urge to cry and scream at the same time. It got sorted though. I've been doing really good with my fits lately. Usually I'm able to calm myself down relatively quickly without doing anyone any sort of harm. Tonight was different. I think it was partially nicotine withdrawls, partially that a member of my family was unnecessarily attacked. Oh well, it's over.My friend's car got egged at the party. We don't know by who, probably not someone there. We think it was a driveby. How absolutely immature. If you're gonna egg a car or whatever, do it to someone you know, not just some random act of egging. Turns out I have a friend with a bit of pull at the school district I'm applying at to be a sub. This could mean big things. I hope I get into the sub program for the district. It would mean I'd get to quit my job and really start getting into hardcore real teaching, instead of being at a job I loathe.Talked to Jason today. He's doing good. We're gonna take a trip, hopefully, up to the Hippie Memorial in Arcola, Illinois sometime in the distant future. It's probably just a sign and a couple of tye-dyed things, but that's okay. If anything, it's a great photo op.Tomorrow's agenda, homework, clean apartment, go to Joe's for all the wonderful cartoon programming, and then come home and prepare to go back to fucking work. Goddammit vacation flew by. People need to leave comments. I don't write this shit for my health, or maybe I do. Either way, comments are needed and appreciated. I'd like comments on the poems in my previous 2 entries as well, so that my writing can be guided in the right direction.

William Shakespeare once said:" Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of careThe death of each day's life, sore labour's bathBalm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,Chief nourisher in life's feast." --Macbeth

Goodnight, friends.
-A
Currently listening : De Stijl By White Stripes Release date: By 11 June, 2002

Friday, September 08, 2006
5:14 PM - Sometimes all you need is sleep and silence.
Current mood: calm
Everything is all better. I went a bit manic on the blog last night. Thanks to those of you who IMed me to see if I was still alive. God, didn't realize I sounded quite THAT bad, but hey, that's the net for you. Tone of voice accounts for just about nothing.It was the blog that helped me. Once I typed them both out, I felt much much better. I just hit walls sometimes and it frustrates me. That and I've been having problems sleeping for the last month. And I've been a little sick. Oh well, such is life. Gonna go ride metrolink downtown to go eat with some friends. Should be quite interesting. I do hope I don't get on the wrong train and end up over at the airport. that's all. More a bit later if I get the chance.
-A
Currently listening : Baby's Got a Temper By The Prodigy Release date: By 16 July, 2002

3:02 AM - And another thing...
I feel shitty. My shoulders are screaming right now as is my back. I really need to go get a massage from Angel (no happy endings, no hot girl-girl shit, straight up legit massage).And if I have another fucking headache, that's the last straw. I already have insomnia. Some loser asshole is outside blasting his stereo at 3am...shitty rap. Shit, at least blast some good rap, like old school NWA or some Run DMC. I think it's ICP. Had an ex that WORSHIPED ICP. So I can sorta pick it out. (Thanks a whole hell of a lot, Weze).Been an interesting week. Bounced between having fun, being depressed, being scared, and wanting to punch about 15 different people in the face. IN THE FACE!Maybe I'm just lonely. Of course, that is rectified by finding some asshole to put up with me. I don't know. I really am a good girl, a fun chick. Oh well. Gotta look out for number 1, really. I just really need intellectual conversation with someone who isn't a blithering idiot.I miss my best friend, Jason. He's a truck driver and he's gone for at least 2 months. He'll be back sometime in October. Glad he was able to come to my birthday gathering. Meant a lot to me, considering he had to leave the next day for trucking hell. Sunday night Adult Swim time is NOT the same at all, even though I love the Joe and everyone else who comes. There' s just something missing without Yoda. Same with the coffee house. We all need a little dirty hippie in our lives. Best friends for 19 years. Next year is the big 20 for us. Sometime in August. Whenever we started first grade. we used to get our asses kicked together. Two totally geeky little kids. He's like a brother.

To a Friend on the Road
Miles of highway stretch before you
Enveloped by the miles
Not seeing much, but seeing everything
The open road is your freedom
The wind in your hair brings you home
You belong to the highway

Lonely nights sleeping on the floor
Of a moving mammoth
Bound for god knows where
Anywhere but where you came from
You understand what you left behind
And I know everyday you remember

There's a void
A simple emptiness
Through which we are connected
You are our sweetest comrade
Sadly, we must share you
With the road.

Sucks. I'm really terrible at this stuff. You should see some of the early early shit I wrote. Total teen angst bullshit. I haven't written anything substantial since I was 19. I used it as therapy. Perhaps now is time to get back to it.Or maybe not, I have too much other shit to do. We'll see. Come on you fuckers. Comment. On anything. Any entry. I need those. And page comments. Makes me feel special.
-A
Currently reading : Naked By David Sedaris Release date: By 01 June, 1998

Friday, September 08, 2006
1:20 AM - All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.
Current mood: sad
Today was sort of a sad, kind of sick feeling day for me. This morning, I woke up nervous. Fuck it, I went to bed nervous. My professor has put so much pressure on us in class to be perfecto in our observations that I was literally pacing last night. My normal mix of tea, incense, and candles couldn't soothe my nerves. I never thought I'd be this keyed up about observing fifth graders. It went okay though. They all seemed to be pretty well-behaved. Far more well behaved than myself or any of my classmates were when we were in fifth grade (1991, oh what a long time ago that was). I remember the days of switching names and seats for any sub that ever dared walk into our classroom. I remember the torment. Oh well, not one to dwell.Tommy and Sarah moved today. They're my neighbors in the downstairs diagonal direction, next to my downstairs neighbors. Two of the coolest people I've ever met. Tommy is a recovering alcoholic and a hell of a guy. Sarah's just a really cool chick. They are moving to New York state. Gonna miss them, they were my cohorts in trying to get DFS to remove the little girl that lives next to me from her parents, because they're abusive assholes.My restaurant burned down. No, I haven't suddenly turned entrepreneur on you all. The restaurant that I play trivia at, O'Leary's, suffered substantial damage in a fire this morning. Now I know, it's just a fucking building. However, it's a building that holds countless good times and memories for me. I don't drink, I simply went there to play trivia and have a good time with my friends. We had become regulars and I consider the co-owner a friend, as well as a lot of the staff. So fuck you.That fucking pink line is back on my monitor again. Dell Support is getting a call tomorrow. Fuck, can I ONCE please have a non-broken in some way computer? Is that too much to ask?Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Here's a poem. It's called Gone.
It's old, but I think it applies quite nicely. I wrote this in 2000 after a good friend of mine committed suicide.

Gone

The night wind whistles outside my window
And I awaken to the silence
Trenches of confusion, walls of uncertainty
Surround me
I awaken to find you gone.
It was strange, for you were just here
Happiness is taken for granted.
Surrounded by the shroud of fog
I plunge into darkness
Still to find you gone

Sitting here, listening to the wind
My mind is racing, I'm trapped
Why am I still here
Only to know you're gone?

It sucks, I know. But if you don't like it, stop reading my shit.That's all.
ANDREA
Currently listening : Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots By The Flaming Lips Release date: By 16 July, 2002

Tuesday, August 22, 2006
12:18 AM - Happy birthday to me!
Thank you to all who called, commented, IMed me with loads of birthday wishes. They were much appreciated.
ANDREA

Monday, August 14, 2006
2:23 AM - Dethklok
Current mood: satisfied
Dethklok is Spinal Tap for the next generation, only animated.Metalocalypse is the greatest show EVER on Cartoon Network, hands down.Watch Dethklok (everyone's favorite animated metal band drink, fight, and be fucking metal at all times) on Sunday night Adult Swim on Cartoon Network.The Dethklok theme is on my page.All hail the mighty Dethklok


Friday, July 28, 2006
1:52 AM - Crazy bitch
Current mood: hyper
I think I need to lay off the sugar.Tonight at the coffee house, a different Andrea came out to play. I was loud, I was boisterous, I was fun and un-bothered by most around me.I think it has to do with the fact that I hate my job, so I have to somehow channel all that negative energy into something positive. Having fun like that enables me to forget that my boss is a damned fool.I hope I wasn't too obnoxious. Finally met some of the people who hang out at the coffee house. Really cool cats, most of them. It's a lot more laid back than the grind. The grind was filled with emo kids, pseudo-punkers, preps, pseudo-intellectuals. I just feel the people at this place are a lot more real. The new Grind is gonna blow anyway. Besides, this place is closer to school than the Grind, so I will be going there more often during the school year.I'm really getting bored with my book. It's all a flashback in this particular installment of the Dark Tower series. I think I may put it down and focus on something else for a little while. It just really seems to drag on and on and on. So I think I'm going to focus my reading energy elsewhere for the time being.Less than a month until school starts up again. Am I wrong to be waiting with anticipation for it?Looking for a new job, but doing it the right way. Keeping the old one until I get a new one. If anyone knows anywhere that's hiring and will pay me at least 10-12 dollars an hour, hit me up.I think that's all. Another day, another headache tomorrow. I'm feeling kinda poetic. Maybe I'll write something down tonight. Maybe I won't. I'm blocked, truthfully. Dunno. Don't care. I just need to write.Now returning you to your regularly scheduled life.
-A
Currently listening : Opiate By Tool Release date: By 10 March, 1992

Friday, July 21, 2006
7:44 AM - Once more...
Current mood: amused
No work for me, again.Thank you to AmerenUE for not being hasty about getting the power back on. Glad they've been working on the people who need power, like old people and hospitals and shit. The power could be off for a month for all I care.Back to bed,
ANDREA
Currently reading : Wizard and Glass (The Dark Tower, Book 4) By Stephen King Release date: By 07 October, 2003
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That is all. I'm back to blogging on here as well as on my MySpace. They shall be quite similar, so you only need to really look once.

-A